Under the Surface
by WindowChild
Summary: During a weekend at the Jackson house, Nico comes out to Percy. Unrequited PercyNico.


A/N: I should just say, before starting this fic, that while I totally respect those who disagree with this pairing, I am personally a fangirl of slash, which is why I wrote it. That's all I'll say on the topic, as I know it's very sensitive for a lot of people. Thank you, I hope you like it.

"Percy, wait," Nico called, chasing Percy down the path to the Poseidon dorm. "Hey." He was panting, having followed Percy for several minutes.

"Hi Nico," Percy said, patiently smiling at the younger boy. "So hey, you wanted to come home with me this weekend, right?"

"Uh yeah," Nico said, suddenly shying away. "Yeah, I guess. Would that be okay?"

"Sure," Percy replied. "You know my mom loves you."

Nico brightened around the edges, his joy at this clearly deeper than he was letting on. He'd never had much love from adults before. "Yeah… okay. Well, thanks."

Truthfully, Sally and Paul both were a little uneasy about Nico di Angelo's presence. He was sulky, polite but with an inscrutable undertone. However, they knew that the boy had few caring people in his life, and so they offered up their sofa without complaint. Nico was usually reluctant to oblige, but every once in a while he accepted their hospitality.

Percy wished he could explain that _he_ genuinely did like having him around, but it was hard. Nico had become a lot more approachable lately, but he was still a son of Hades. Some subjects were a little too much to broach with him, even for Percy.

Nico _had _grown though. It was undeniable. He was taller, his olive complexion bettered by camp's sunlight. His hair had lost its unkempt appearance, and he could even be caught smiling sometimes. With the exception of his monthly visits to the Underworld, he had transformed into a semi-ordinary teenager.

He still wouldn't talk about those visits with anyone. Percy only had a vague idea of Nico's current relationship with his father, and he didn't try to venture through that discussion. It wasn't that he was concerned about it, exactly, but often it was better just to leave Nico be. After all, he seemed okay. It was only during the aftermath of his Underworld excursions that he retreated into his old shell.

"Can we take the subway?" Nico asked, a little bit hopefully. He still liked to be underground.

Percy nodded. "Yeah, I think I've got my metro card on me. Stay close to me, okay?"

Nico rolled his eyes, and then obeyed once he saw the mob of people milling onto the platform. He glanced at Percy questioningly.

"Rush hour," Percy explained. He grinned. "Do you like New York?" Nico had come at least half a dozen times with him, but Percy had never asked before.

"Yeah," Nico said, eyes nearly glued to the train tracks. "I like it a lot."

"My mom and Paul want to take us out to dinner. Would that be okay?"

"Hmm?" Nico asked, over the low hum of the train.

"My mom and Paul want to take us to the diner, for dinner."

"Oh, sure," Nico replied. He tried not to sound too glum. It wasn't that he didn't like Percy's parents, because he did, but sometimes it felt a little uncomfortable.

The Jackson's apartment was nice. To be honest, Nico was a silent snob when it came to that sort of thing, but he _did_ appreciate the slightly picturesque coziness of the place. Flowers on tables, pictures on the wall.

Paul came into the living room, all smiles. He gave Percy a hug, and Nico a warm handshake.

"How are you?" he asked enthusiastically.

"Fine," Percy replied. "Great. Annabeth says hello."

"You two still together then?" Paul joked.

"So far so good," Percy replied, grinning. "She hasn't dumped me yet." Nico shifted from foot to foot. He had no girlfriend to speak of.

"Hi," Sally emerged from the bedroom, arms stretching out for Percy. "How are you, honey?" She hugged him tight, and Nico couldn't help but feel jealous.

"Great," Percy said again, still smiling.

"Hi Nico," Sally said, approaching him. "How's camp, honey?" She gave him a quick embrace too, and Nico felt his insides turn to liquid. He was rarely given hugs from motherly figures, and never referred to as "honey" by anyone.

"Are you two ready for dinner?" Paul asked, pulling his keys off the coffee table.

"I don't know. You hungry yet?" Percy asked.

"Sure," Nico said, nodding.

"Wonderful, let's go," Sally said. She gave Percy another little squeeze, and then returned to the bedroom to grab her purse.

Dinner was just as Nico thought it would be. Pleasant, but with a little bit of tension from his end. As he looked around at the others' faces, though, he knew that he was the only one who felt uncomfortable. Well, that was normal for him.

"Percy," Sally said, just as they were finishing up the chocolate-blackout cake. "We can settle the bill, if you want to show Nico that store."

"Oh, right," Percy said, turning to Nico. "I forgot about that."

"Huh? What store?" Nico asked.

"Come on," Percy said, standing up. "You'll see in a minute. Thanks Mom, thanks Paul." He gave a little wave to them, and gestured for Nico to follow him.

"Where are we going?" Nico asked.

"You'll see," Percy said. "I hope you'll like it."

Nico twisted his mouth in curiosity. He really had no idea what they were doing.

"Right here," Percy said, excitedly hitting a store window with his fist. "It's closed now, but we can come back in the morning if you want to."

Nico glanced at the window, and then back at Percy with confusion. He didn't get it.

"Don't you see?" Percy asked, patiently. "The mytho magic cards! You used to love those, right?"

Nico visibly deflated, an unspoken "oh" resounding from his small frame. He hadn't expected that. "Yeah, _used _to," he said, sagging. Suddenly he was very tired.

Percy frowned. "I know you gave them up, but that was only when you were, um, you know. I thought you might want to get some again."

"No thanks," Nico replied, shaking his head. He walked over to the curb, staring blankly across the street.

"Why not?" Percy pressed.

When Nico turned back, frowning in frustrated, Percy shrugged. "I mean, I don't care if you get them or not, but why don't you want them?"

This made no sense, to either of them, but Percy at least hoped it would provoke a response. It didn't though, and Nico stayed where he was. It was perverse, almost, how well he blended into the night sky.

"Nico… come on. What's going on with you?" Percy asked. Sure, Nico seemed fine, but no demigod was ever "fine".

"What do you mean?" Nico asked. Percy would have believed him, maybe, if it hadn't been for the slight edge to his voice. Things had seemed better, yes, but he was still Nico. He had more issues than someone his age should ever have had to deal with.

"Hey, don't get mad," Percy said softly, joining him on the edge of the sidewalk. "I'm just checking on you." He paused, diving headfirst into icy waters. "How are things going with your dad?" The words came in a rush, and he knew they sounded as nervous as they felt.

"Fine," Nico grumbled. He took a good three or four steps away from Percy. "They're fine."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Nico replied. He seemed almost sincere. Then, more quietly, "A little bit. I hope he likes to see me."

"He does," Percy said. "You're a hero Nico, you made him a hero. How could he not?"

Nico shrugged. "Well, he's stopped directly insulting me since the war, but still… he wishes I was Bianca."

"I'm sure he doesn't."

"Oh, yes, he does," Nico said, laughing humorlessly. "He tells me sometimes."

"Oh," Percy echoed. He wasn't sure what to say. "I'm sorry."

"And you know," Nico continued, suddenly unable to stop himself. "I wouldn't care so much, if I had another parent. But he's my dad, and I don't have anyone else, and I really wish –" He broke off suddenly, shaking his head. Percy knew that the words "you wouldn't understand" were on the tip of his tongue.

"Nico," Percy said sighing. "There are lots of demigods with only one parent."

Nico folded his arms, blinking rapidly. "They don't have Hades as their dad."

"Yeah. I guess not."

Nico sighed, sounding forlorn and resigned. "Never mind. Let's go, okay?"

"Back to the apartment?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, sure." Percy lagged behind a step or two, even as Nico began walking. "Hey Nico, why did you want to talk tonight?" When Nico didn't say anything, Percy went on. "I mean, it's great, I like talking to you about this stuff, but just… why tonight?"

Nico rolled his eyes, although Percy didn't see. What he'd shared was so minimal that he had to refrain from laughing. By way of an answer, he said, "Thanks for showing me the cards."

"No problem," Percy said, relieved that he wasn't annoyed about that. "Are you sure you don't want to get any tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay…" It seemed so odd to Percy, that he promised to keep his eyes peeled on Nico for a while. "Have you – have you seen your sister lately?" Hey, maybe Nico was in a sharing kind of mood.

"Mmhm," Nico replied, clearly wanting to change subjects. "A little while ago."

"Cool," Percy said, nodding. He didn't push it. "So have you got any crushes?" He almost laughed, hoping to lighten up the conversation.

Surprisingly, Nico gave a little growl and sped up his pace. "None of your business."

"What?" Percy asked. "I mean, Grover and I talk about our girlfriends and everything. Sometimes."

"That's different," Nico said. His voice was low and dangerous.

"Why, do you like anyone?" Percy teased.

Nico shook his head so quickly that his hair slapped Percy's cheek. "Shut up."

"What's wrong?" Percy asked. "Seriously, Nico, come on. What's going on with you?"

"You don't want to know."

"Yeah I do. You can tell me, you know, whatever you want." Declarations like this, when coming from Percy, didn't sound corny at all. They only sounded like statements of fact.

"No," Nico said firmly. "I'm thirteen." This seemed an odd thing for him to say.

"… Yeah? What? Nico, you're kind of scaring me."

He gave another one of those bitter laughs, making Percy shiver.

"Nico, just tell me. Maybe I can…"

"Maybe what?" Nico asked. "You can't fix this for me Percy."

"Fix what? Did you… I don't know, do something bad?"

"No," Nico said, sighing. He rubbed at his hair. Percy wasn't going to let this go, though. He knew that. He'd scared him too much, given too much away. This was his fault. It was as if he'd wanted Percy to push him; he wanted someone to know.

"What if I told you that I've never liked a girl before." His eyes were so focused on a license plate that it almost turned to pixels.

"What?..." Percy said, his token slowness becoming self-evident. Annabeth would have gotten it at that. But gods, he wasn't telling this to Annabeth. He was telling Percy. He was the best person to talk to, after all, but he was also the worst.

Percy looked confused. "Well, that's okay. You spent most of you're life with your sister, you probably didn't have too many crushes."

"No Percy," Nico said. "That's not what I meant."

"What do you…"

"I've only ever had a crush on one person, Percy. And it's… well, he wasn't a girl." He bent a little bit, as if trying to contract his mass. Maybe if he were smaller, he wouldn't have to hear Percy's response.

"You mean…you're gay?" He was only asking. There wasn't a hint of scorn or anger to his voice. He only wanted Nico to say it.

"Yeah," Nico said, turning. His eyes were bright, although Percy couldn't tell if they were teary or not. "Yes. I am." He pulled his neck up and cleared his throat, waiting. Percy had to be the next to speak.

"Oh." He sounded… relieved? "Well, that's okay. I mean, it doesn't matter to me. Who –"

"Please, let's not talk about it anymore," Nico pleaded. "I told you, okay? Let's not talk about it again tonight."

"Okay." Percy took a deep breath, and then nodded. "Yeah, okay. But you know we're going to have to eventually, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Okay," Percy replied. He smiled for Nico, and the younger boy was relieved to see that it wasn't forced. "Hey, do you want a hug?" Percy asked.

It sounded so genuine, that Nico couldn't help but melt a little bit. If only Percy knew the rest of it. He stood perfectly still, reasoning with himself. He could say no, and save himself the pain, or say yes and be happy for a moment.

He stole a glance at Percy. It was obvious that what he truly, truly wanted to do was help.

"Yeah," Nico said, trying to sound strong. "Yeah, okay." He stepped forward, trying not to focus on the fact that Percy was hugging him. Gods, he wanted to tell him the rest so badly.

"It'll be okay, alright?" Percy said, soothingly. "I'll make sure." He still had his arms around Nico, who wasn't making any effort to pull away. It felt too safe, here with Percy. "Have you told anyone else?"

"What?" Nico asked, his words slightly muffled by Percy's shirt.

"Does anyone else know?" Percy asked.

"No," Nico replied, "Only you. Can you do me a favor, though?"

"Sure, anything."

"Tell people for me."

"What?" Percy replied, shocked. That sounded very… strange.

"Tell Annabeth and Grover and everyone else you can. I don't want to have to."

"Yeah, of course. I can do that."

"Thanks," Nico said. "I just, I just don't want to have to deal with doing that."

"Right. Well sure, I understand."

"Thanks," Nico said again. "And Percy?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

Percy tightened his grip on Nico, recognizing that to him, it didn't matter that Nico was gay. They were still good friends, and Nico still needed him right now. "Don't be sorry," he said, as sternly as he could. "Don't ever be sorry."

"Okay," Nico said, giving a little sigh. "Percy…"

"Yeah?"

"About the cards, I _am_ sorry about that. It's just… I don't know, it's too hard for me to go back to that life. With my sister, and my questions. I know so much more now. I just… I can't think about that life."

"Yeah. I understand, don't worry."

"Okay," Nico said, for the umpteenth time. "Thank you for everything."

"Anytime," Percy said, completely speaking the truth. "Listen, if you ever want to talk about stuff, life if you ask out a guy, or if you tell Hades and it doesn't go so well, just come find me, okay?" There was silence. "Nico?"

"Yeah," Nico replied. It was then that he knew he could never risk it. Percy was his confidant, his one true thing. He could never tell him the truth about the one boy he'd ever loved. It would ruin things between them, however hard Percy might try for it not to. He closed his eyes, feeling eternally jealous of Annabeth.

"Are you ready to go upstairs?" Percy asked.

Nico clenched his jaw, hating the world and time and everything else about life. Going upstairs meant he'd have to move. "Sure," he said, trying not to sound too bitter. "Let's go."

Percy took a step away, and Nico suddenly felt very hollow inside. He wanted to still be in Percy's arms; he wanted to still have that warm, safe feeling. But no… now it was time to face the music. Percy would tell their friends, and Nico would have to deal with what came after. It would be a cold road, he knew. And he'd have to brave it without the one thing he'd ever really wanted. Percy.


End file.
